I'm not long on patience where typos are concerned. ... ( please please please don't let me commit one in this posting ) ... I'm even worse when it comes to an outright incorrect spelling of a word, particularly on a menu.

If a chef can't spell aioli or beurre blanc, I'm highly suspicious of his or her ability to prepare it. Is that wrong? Would you want a hysterectomy (or any -ectomy, for that matter) from a physician who mangled the spelling of the procedure? Details, my friends. You've got to pay attention to the details. Thoreau said life was frittered away by them, but I believe life is defined by them.

Last Friday evening, we found ourselves seated at a corner table at the River House in North Augusta. BC Davenport's, a "ladies who lunch" kind of place, used to occupy the building. Earlier that week, I saw a menu for the River House on a colleague's filing cabinet - Traditional American and Authentic Thai Cuisine, it said. A new spot for Thai food? I'm in. And that's how we found our way to that little corner table in a Victorian style dining room painted a curious shade of green.

We quickly settled on the calamari and a couple of entrees from the Thai side of the menu but meandered through the American side while waiting for our waiter to take our order. This caught our collective eye almost simultaneously ...

Grilled Pork Chopswitch

What in the world is chopswitch? A new cut of pork? A pork sandwich with "t" thrown in for good measure? Well, as it turns out, a Grilled Pork Chopswitch is actually Grilled Pork Chops with Couscous and some vegetable I can't remember because we dissolved into a state of hilarity when we realized what the owner was trying to communicate. I'm going to give her a pass for this infraction. Her menu in English is a lot better than anything I could put together in Thai. But every waiter in that place spoke English as a first language. Come on, guys, help her out. Or perhaps the boy wonders are too busy vacuuming in front of customers and forgetting silverware and dinner plates. Those are infractions I cannot forgive. Somebody else is going to have to try the chopswitch and let me know how it was.